I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
