Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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