I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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