She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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