so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
