I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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