don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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