So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize