There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you had me at cake vodka
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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