I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
