i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
