I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
