He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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