as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
