Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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