oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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