what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
