That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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