Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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