i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
