a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
