is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wear drunk well.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
