Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
