That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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