it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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