you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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