Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize