Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
