I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
