i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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