I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
