I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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