FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
