I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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