i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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