i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
