It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
