Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
