me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
