just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She bit a glass in half.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
