I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
