need another drink. this is the easiest way
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize