My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
