I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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