Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
