We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize