what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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