Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize