p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
