these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
