let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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