I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize