ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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