Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
