GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
