How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
