you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
