I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
