Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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